...Well a suicide attempt does tend to ruin one's day.
You talked with Jack? I think perhaps I'd better have a word with him myself... Was he able to help you at all?
...And I should definitely let you go to talk with Arthur, after we finish our game. We don't need to try to solve everything between us right now. But when it comes to the children... I'll do anything I can to give you as much of a role in our -- their -- lives as you want to handle. They need you. Not because I'm a bad parent, but because you know things I still haven't learned.
...Perhaps would you and Arthur like to have them stay with you while we're on our honeymoon? See what you think then, about whether you're more than just Auntie Lynda to them.
*gazes at his tiles, and finally lays down HEART, ending with the T in PREGNANT*
We can take time. I think time is one thing you have plenty of.
*takes a long moment, then finally meets your eyes*
...I suppose I might as well talk about it with you. That moment. What it meant.
That first moment when I broke free... it's pressed on my brain like a fingerprint. I can feel every inch of our bodies together. The way I'd bent you forward, my arm locked across your breasts holding you up. My chest leaning over your back, pressed close, like I was protecting you. My other hand, curled around the top of your thigh, reaching between and just pressing flat against you. Even the way my knees were bent, my hips angling to reach just that bit deeper inside you. That one moment when we were utterly still.
It was so real, so crystal perfect... so much like those dreams we'd had of what we'd never dared do in real life. Not so much like a drowning man breaking the surface, but one for whom all the water choking him has just turned to sweet clean air.
And that was the moment which convinced me of who I am. That I both love and am loved.
There was guilt and awkwardness and complexity on all sides of that instant, but that moment... that wet hot deep moment... was pure joy. I knew I couldn't ever give you a lifetime of joy... but I hope I could give you one moment to match that one.
*meets your eyes*
And if there's any justice in your own mind, your moment of joy should be the one when you realised you had the strength to stop.
*reaches across the table and offers you just a hand*
You're not helpless, you're not out of control. You can decide what you want, and get it, and still know you can stop. That's what I wanted to tell you. That at that moment I was so proud of you.
*looks at you, trying not to look adoring, but losing the battle*
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2007-01-13 12:18 pm (UTC)You talked with Jack? I think perhaps I'd better have a word with him myself... Was he able to help you at all?
...And I should definitely let you go to talk with Arthur, after we finish our game. We don't need to try to solve everything between us right now. But when it comes to the children... I'll do anything I can to give you as much of a role in our -- their -- lives as you want to handle. They need you. Not because I'm a bad parent, but because you know things I still haven't learned.
...Perhaps would you and Arthur like to have them stay with you while we're on our honeymoon? See what you think then, about whether you're more than just Auntie Lynda to them.
*gazes at his tiles, and finally lays down HEART, ending with the T in PREGNANT*
We can take time. I think time is one thing you have plenty of.
*takes a long moment, then finally meets your eyes*
...I suppose I might as well talk about it with you. That moment. What it meant.
That first moment when I broke free... it's pressed on my brain like a fingerprint. I can feel every inch of our bodies together. The way I'd bent you forward, my arm locked across your breasts holding you up. My chest leaning over your back, pressed close, like I was protecting you. My other hand, curled around the top of your thigh, reaching between and just pressing flat against you. Even the way my knees were bent, my hips angling to reach just that bit deeper inside you. That one moment when we were utterly still.
It was so real, so crystal perfect... so much like those dreams we'd had of what we'd never dared do in real life. Not so much like a drowning man breaking the surface, but one for whom all the water choking him has just turned to sweet clean air.
And that was the moment which convinced me of who I am. That I both love and am loved.
There was guilt and awkwardness and complexity on all sides of that instant, but that moment... that wet hot deep moment... was pure joy. I knew I couldn't ever give you a lifetime of joy... but I hope I could give you one moment to match that one.
*meets your eyes*
And if there's any justice in your own mind, your moment of joy should be the one when you realised you had the strength to stop.
*reaches across the table and offers you just a hand*
You're not helpless, you're not out of control. You can decide what you want, and get it, and still know you can stop. That's what I wanted to tell you. That at that moment I was so proud of you.
*looks at you, trying not to look adoring, but losing the battle*
We can handle this.