(no subject)

[lyndawithay]

*sits in the bedroom trying very hard not to cry*

Why did I say that? Why didn't I leave before I got so angry?

*throws herself across the bed, face down, with a sob*

Comments

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*after a rather long while, a furtive knock at the door*

[lyndawithay]

*sits up abruptly, hand over her mouth*

*doesn't reply*

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*waits*

*finally a bit of a shuffling sound*

*something is poked through the crack under the door*

*the long, leafy stem of a flower*

[lyndawithay]

*touched*

*opens the door*

[(Anonymous)]

*it's a long-stemmed red rose, with a bit of violet around the fringes of the petals*

*no sign of Arthur*

*but there's another flower, a pink-and-white carnation, pointing the way down the hall*

*then a hibiscus blossom, continuing the trail*

[lyndawithay]

*curious*

*folows the trail, picking up flowers as she goes*

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*it leads onwards downstairs, through zinnias and lilies and clumps of violets*

*into the drawing-room*

*which is FESTOONED with colorful flowers of all sorts*

*from daisies tucked between the piano-keys to a garland draped over the armchair, a sunflower in a pot facing the window, bouquets tucked together on the table, a fabulous orchid next to your portrait, even blossoms threaded around the gas-lights*

*and in the midst of it all, Arthur, almost hidden behind an enormous bouquet, with a sheepish forgive-me look on his face*

[lyndawithay]

*stunned*

...Arthur?

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, my pet. I promised to talk to you before I hired anyone, and I didn't. I, ah, wasn't thinking very clearly. And I know just how awful it must have been to think you couldn't trust me.

...But we really did just fall over.

[lyndawithay]

Oh, sweetheart, I know that.

It was mainly your hiring her without asking me, and how that looked that bothered me. Like, the reason you weren't thinking very clearly. I hadn't thought you would be that easily distracted, especially not by someone like her.

And I'm sorry about what I said, but that doesn't mean you have to keep throwing what I did in my face, especially when I've been so good, and trying so hard, lately. It's as if I never can do enough to make up for breaking your trust.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*moved*

...I...

*pauses, puzzled*

...But I didn't even mention what you did, did I? When did I throw it in your face?

[lyndawithay]

When you said just now, that you knew how awful it must have been to think I couldn't trust you, and before, we were talking, you got all sad about it, and it's like you won't ever let me forget.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

...I'm not trying to remind you of it. It's just... still there.

*crumpling amidst the roses*

I know you're trying, my sweet, I know you want to make it all better between us... but even when you're here it's like you're far away. Off in your head somewhere where people live forever and fight circuses and go to Cardiff of all places and keep thinking about children they can't have.

That was only a part of it.

I know you can't be with me all the time... but when you are with me can't you be with me? And be happy?

[lyndawithay]

When I am here, Arthur, you're off at work most of the time. Here isn't with you, it's with running the house and the kitchen and driving off the evil sheep and a hundred little mundane things. It's for you, not with you.

Is it any wonder I rush off on those adventures to help people when they ask? I'm capable of so much more than you ask of me, and I want to use it if it's needed.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*hurt* Is that what our marriage means to you? Being ship's cook and, ah, concubine?

*sinks onto the piano bench, bouquet in his lap*

I know why the rest of it all means so much to you... I know there's a lot of ordinary work here, and I spend eight hours a day away being very dull indeed... but when we are together here, you never seem to escape your cares any more. Not just from being with me. You used to light up when we did silly little things together... now you stay half wrapped in a grey fog even then. I miss you.

*moves daisies aside on the keyboard, and plays a few tenative chords, slowly, looking plantively at you*

I'd like that
If we could cycle down some lane...

[lyndawithay]

Arthur, that's nothing to do with you. I've been having a hard time of it lately, with the immortality and the problems conceiving and all that. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

--I jolly well know it's nothing to do with me! That's the trouble, it's why I can't seem to help you through it. And it still makes me feel...

*gently*

Do you know what made me think of Chastiti in, ah, ways I shouldn't, really? It's just that she seemed happy to talk to me...

[lyndawithay]

Oh, Arthur, I'm sorry I've been neglecting you. It won't last forever, I promise, I just need to work through this somehow.

And I do like talking to you.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

...I'd love to sing with you again. Maybe teach me a song from your time. Just a few more moments like that, together, that's all I need.

*reaches out for your hand*

*loses his grip on the giant bouquet, lunges for it, and we end up with it sort of pinned between us*

*gazing gently*

...Could you just look at me for a moment, the way you used to? When you, oh I don't know, sparkled.

Here, I'll help. *pulls a cross-eyed face, tongue askew*

[lyndawithay]

*giggles*

You don't need to do that, silly.

*pushes the bouquet gently out of the way*

I love you, you know.

*kisses you*

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

...mmf.

*kisses you gleefully*

*nuzzles you with the bit where his moustache used to be, out of habit*

...You did do me one other disservice, though, my sweet.

[lyndawithay]

*kisses your upper lip and smiles*

*looks at you seriously*

What's that, Arthur sweetheart?

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*nibbling your lower lip as you kiss my upper*

Just that you thought I'd, ah, be attracted to someone whom I didn't really care about.

*brushing a stray lily against your neck*

I'm not in love with her, not by a long chalk, but I do think she's a very sweet girl who's been hard done by. And she may be a dancing-girl, but I really don't think that makes her a whore...

[lyndawithay]

She's also rather dim and shallow. Do you know she agreed to leave the Doctor for five million dollars? And that she cheated on him with Jimmy and an otter?

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

*eyes wide*

< Importance_Of_Being_Earnest > An otter? < /Importance_Of_Being_Earnest >

...though I must confess, dear heart, if I had to live with the Doctor I might be willing to leave him for five pounds and a bag of sweets...

[lyndawithay]

I mean, I know you're a man, and men can't help but... respond to certain things, but...

...sweet as she may be, she's not worthy of you.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

...I mean she said she was giving up on men for otters, but I thought that was just because they were fluffy cuddly little...

Still, I'm trying to be broadminded about such things.

My love, there's only one woman I consider worthy of me. *quick deep kisses which feel like a prelude to ravishment*

*scoops you up in his arms, the vast bouquet piled in your lap, cheerily carrying you towards the bedroom*

Still, if you could avoid calling her a whore, that would rather be a help. There are enough people around here who'd fling round names like that -- do you remember when Mr. Murchinson down the street saw you outside in your T-shirt that one time! Heavens, you'd have thought the world was ending...

[lyndawithay]

I'm sorry. I was upset. I won't do it again.

It must be rubbing off.

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

I may not be able to do much in your other world, my pet, but at least I can defend your place in *this* one.

I'll be your knight on a battered bicycle! Ha ha!

[lyndawithay]

*adoringly* Oh, my Arthur.

So are we keeping her on, then?

[arthur-gate.livejournal.com]

I'd like to, if it's all right with you.

At least so long as she doesn't try to seduce the sheep...

[lyndawithay]

All right, provided she gets a new uniform. And no ogling, or she is out.

[chastiti-gate.livejournal.com]

*cleans things*