lyndawithay (
lyndawithay) wrote2006-12-11 11:59 am
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The Gates' kitchen, Sydney
*enters kitchen, dressed in her best Victorian housewife ensemble, to keep her appointment with Jack, and sits at the table*
All right, here I am. Let's talk.
Why did Arthur contact you? How did you know about my suicide?
And how can you possibly help me?
All right, here I am. Let's talk.
Why did Arthur contact you? How did you know about my suicide?
And how can you possibly help me?
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Resisting strangers, I have done that. Even with y- someone I know, who I have a history with and am meltingly attracted to, I've still managed to hold out and bring it home to Arthur.
The challenge lies only with this one Ood.
The way he looks at me...the way he talks to me...when he's around I simply can't think clearly. I know I should resist but even just being near him is so unspeakably delicious I don't want to tear myself away, wanting it for just a little longer, and before I know it I've fallen.
Even when he tries to help, says we shouldn't, behaves like a gentleman, it only makes me want him so badly I can hardly stand. The more we push each other away the more we're drawn to each other. The first time we ever succumbed, the whole time we were both insisting with every touch that we shouldn't. And yet, oh, we couldn't stop.
*one hand moving unconsciously up to her collar, fingers trailing across her throat*
I need to be able to clear my head where he's concerned. Even just remembering him now, look - *holds out her hand* I'm shaking, my heart is racing, and I'm so wet for him I ache.
This is much more than an attraction to some beautiful boy, no matter how unbelievable they are.
It's an addiction.
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You could try the Lamington trick. Fuck each other for days until you get it out of your systems.
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Who's this Lamington and what's his phone number?That might work for some, but we already tried something along those lines. It worked, but only temporarily.
I'm afraid that if I go to him now, I won't ever get him out of my system.
He has Bellino back now. And she does love him, completely. I don't want him to divide himself between us; it's not fair to her.
*rests her face in her hands* I think the only thing for it is never to see him again.
...But that's not likely, what with him so connected to our family. Besides, it would break his heart.
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A Lamington is a small, tempting cake. When making a large batch for charity, you let the volunteers eat as many as they like, until they're so sick of them that the rest of the batch are perfectly safe.I get it. Boy do I get it.
I guess that just brings me back to my original question: what're you gonna do if you slip? Because you're going to be dealing with this for a long time. You're gonna try so hard, Lynda, but you might still trip up now and again. You've gotta have a strategy planned.
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I don't know! I can't even bear to think about it!
Just the thought of hurting Arthur again...now, that does feel like death.
You said he was terrified of losing me, well; every time I slip, I think I've finally gone too far, that it will be the last straw and he'll leave me.
I don't know why he hasn't already. Every second chance he's given me, I've failed miserably and hurt him that much more.
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You know, it really was Arthur's idea to leave us alone together. This is not a man who's gonna divorce his wife for seeing somebody else.
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I thought maybe it was some last desperate gesture. I know he doesn't want it. Who's to say the next time it happens, he won't find out and finally decide he's suffered enough?
What do you think I should do the next time it happens?
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I don't see any good solution.
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No. If I'm going to slip, I need to own my mistake and tell him, however afraid I might be of the consequences. It's only fair to be honest with him. I would rather know, if our positions were switched.
Jack, can I ask you something?
Why did you agree to come here tonight?
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I knew you'd have questions about your newfound immortality.
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Jack, I think it happened on the Game Station -- I died there, died for real. Do you remember anything strange happening there?
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I knew I was dying.
I tried to fight but the pain was too huge, bigger than the whole world, and I finally stopped fighting and let myself fall into it. It was a relief, a huge relief.
And then...nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing around me, nothing in me, no thoughts, no sensations. I don't really remember this bit, more that it was in contrast with what happened next.
A word...appeared, the only thing that existed, it was the entire universe. I'll never forget how it sounded.
"LIFE," it said.
And suddenly everything turned...sort of sparkly, sort of gold, like when you press your fingers against your eyelids, and the pain came back and I could breathe again. And the window wasn't broken. I lay there for a bit; I could hardly move, it hurt so much. Then it started to feel better, like the pain was leaking out of me, and I was able to move.
And when I called you there was no answer. I went to find you, and everyone was gone.
I had convinced myself, until our recent battle with the Circus, that it had been a dream or a hallucination or something, that I'd gotten banged on the head and imagined the whole thing. But now...I think I always knew, deep down that I died that day, and for some reason, I came back. Changed.
*twists the tablecloth between her fingers* It sounds a bit daft, saying it out loud like this.
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And you. And me.
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Why? Why us?
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I wish I had an answer to any of your questions.
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It helps to know I'm not alone, though.
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Was it...did it feel the same, with you?
How long have you known?
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Yeah, it was pretty much the same.
I thought it was a one-time thing, some miracle. Maybe some kind of parting gift from the Doctor. He doesn't seem to know anything about it, though. But then it happened again. Stupid, trivial thing. I fell off a ladder! Can you believe it? Cracked my skull right open. Scared the hell out of a couple of paramedics when my head started knitting itself back together.
To tell you the truth, Lynda, it scares the hell out of me.
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